He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
