i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sacagawea was the original milf.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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