he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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