Kiss
Puke
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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