so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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