i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
PANTIES FOUND
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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