I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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