Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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