Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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