the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize