you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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