I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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