508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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