Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
