I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I touched a dick in church today
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
