i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
