I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
