If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
