I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
