wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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