Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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