4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
