Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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