her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
