woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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