am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
