PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
