guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
