Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
