That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize