i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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