We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
