I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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