I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
