It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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