If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you would pick up someone in the library
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
