I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
