thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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