'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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