So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
