I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
smell my finger.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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