You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
