worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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