Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
