Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
