What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
