Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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