I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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