i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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