He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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