After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
