YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
