Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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