I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
