Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
