I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
