I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We left the knife in your bed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
