cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize