i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
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