wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
