hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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