She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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