Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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